Entries from October 2007 ↓

It’s been dry in most of Hawaii for years. It’s not just upcountry or West Maui that needs rain. Most of the islands need better than average rainfall for many years to come.

Since the infamous 40 days of rain in early 2006, Hawaii reverted back to the recent decade of dry weather. Enough is enough already.

Let me be the first to provide an official welcome to the 2007-2008 rainy season in Hawaii. What better time to start the festivities than on Halloween night? It’s not that I have anything at all against cute little kids in Spiderman or Princess costumes– as long as they’re walking around Ala Moana Center begging merchants for candy coated sugar bombs.

In fact, all Halloween trick or treaters should head to the shopping malls instead of neighbor’s doors. It’s perfect. Those of us who want to see children in their costumes can go to the mall. Trick or treaters go to the mall. Merchants hand over candy and goodies. Everyone stays dry. Who loses?

Halloween is a perfect night to begin Hawaii’s increasingly absent rainy season. What better way to keep teenage troublemakers from making trouble than to have the sky piss all over them in a drenching that we need anyway.

Come to think of it, the perfect day to commemorate the exact middle of Hawaii’s rainy season is New Year’s Eve. Fireworks just don’t have the same appeal when it’s raining cats and dogs.

It would be more difficult for a network television soap opera to come up with the intriguing story lines in just one day of Hawaii’s news.

Right on top there’s word of a study which shows that seven schools on Oahu are nothing more than ‘dropout factories‘ where 40-percent of freshmen will fail, and drop out of school before their senior year. School officials called the report ‘misleading.’ School students called the report ‘duh.’

So, what’s the cause of the high dropout rate? Bad schools? Bad teachers? Bad students? Or, bad statistics?

Then there’s the story of the man who got so pissed at Bob Awana for stealing his woman, that he extorted $35,000 from him. Awana was Governor Linda Lingle’s former chief of staff and lost his job after trying to woo the man’s woman with gifts and favors. The jilted man lost his woman and sought revenge, hence the extortion plot. Instead, the poor jilted soul didn’t get to keep the extortion money, and received a free year of lodging in Hawaii instead. In prison. When he gets out of prison, he gets deported. But will she wait for him?

Mister Awana, you’re no David Copperfield.

Buried in the middle of the news is what Hawaii doesn’t want broadcast to the tourists. Sharks bite. One bit a man’s leg on Maui, which prompted officials to close a few beaches. Hey, bites happen. Especially in the murky waters off Wailea on Maui. If you can’t see your toes in the sand, neither can the shark. So they go for what they smell. The lesson? Keep your toes clean and odor free. Oh, and stay out of murky water where sharks are known to sniff.

Look for air fares in the islands to go up soon? Why? Hawaiian Air is in the money. Rather, they’re in Mesa Air Group’s money, or soon will be. A judge ordered Mesa to pay $80-million to Hawaiian Air as penalty and losses in a lawsuit. Why? Mesa, which runs competitor go! airlines in Hawaii, obtained confidential information from Hawaiian which was then used to launch go!

Mesa needs to recoup that money and the only way will be to raise prices, which Hawaiian and Aloha airlines will gladly follow. End result? Hawaiian Air will have more money and their customers will have less money.

It’s the circle of life explained in just one day of news in Hawaii.

I’m not a university trained economist or a mathematician, but I do have a little common sense, and a calculator. When I put the two together, I come up with a few questions.

This has to do with the price of gasoline in Hawaii, now hovering around $3.25 a gallon, a price which ranks among the highest in the country. This morning I heard on the news that the price of a barrel of oil is close to $100.

$100 a barrel for oil, and $3.25 a gallon for gasoline in Hawaii. Just a year or two ago, the price of gasoline in Hawaii ranged from $3.00 to $3.50 a gallon, while the price of oil hovered just over $60 a gallon.

The wholesale price of oil has increased by 50-percent in the past year or two, from the $60 a barrel range, to nearly $100 a barrel, but the price of gasoline at the pump remains, more or less, the same.

Something appears to be amiss regarding gasoline prices in Hawaii, despite oil price fluctuations, the gas cap silliness, and a change in petroleum taxes. I found an interesting chart online which highlights the same strange story.

Generally, over the past three years, retail gasoline prices in the US were influenced by the wholesale price of crude oil. When oil prices went up, so did gasoline prices in the US. When oil prices went down, so did gasoline prices.

Until now.

Wholesale prices of oil and retail prices of gasoline bottomed out around January 2007. Oil was less than $60 a barrel, and gasoline was about $2.50 a gallon in the US. Since then, oil prices have climbed from less than $60 a barrel to nearly $100 a barrel. Retail gasoline prices climbed, too, but peaked in the spring, then dropped– all while oil prices hit new records.

If the price of oil continues to rise, as it has since January, why are gasoline prices dropping? For Hawaii’s motorists, prices are not really dropping. They just haven’t gone up.

I can see what the chart says. I know what my calculator shows. Something is strange about gasoline prices.

I tell my friends and family on the mainland that we pay closer attention to their weather than they pay attention to the weather in Hawaii.

For example, regarding heat waves, tornadoes, earthquakes, floods, hurricanes, snow storms, ice storms, drought, and other natural disasters, we tune in to CNN for all the news details and video excitement.

What do mainland folks hear and watch about Hawaii?

Once every 10 years or so there’s news about a hurricane. Many mainland folks know that Hawaii has volcanoes, but they’re the same ones who think we live in paradise, like a modern day version of Gilligan’s Island but with more people. We do, but what with the high price tag on everything local, we live poorly. Just like on Gilligan’s Island.

An island-wide power outage was cause for news of Hawaii in mainland media. That’s the stuff CNN loves. For me, CNN is the place to turn to when I’m feeling down and need a lift. It’s not that the news on CNN is any different than on Fox or MSNBC or anywhere else. It’s not that the news on CNN is particularly pleasant or feel-good. It’s not.

The news on CNN is so bad that even if you’re living in Hawaii and having a really bad day, it’s not as bad as the day someone else is having, and their day is broadcast on CNN.

CNN makes me feel good about living in Hawaii.

Most of us get our news, local or otherwise, from mainstream media– newspapers, television, radio– though increasingly online.

News, by definition, should be a reflection of what is happening around us, including noteworthy information about events where most of us are not privileged to the details.

The number of pharmaceutical commercials on the evening national news should tell us something about those who watch the news. So should the amount of time local news devotes to covering local and state government.

Most of us don’t have much to do with either, yet both provide mainstream news sources with plenty of newsworthy fodder. Except for the ‘newsworthy’ part. Otherwise, it’s mostly fodder.

Most local folks pay their taxes, vote from time to time, visit the department of motor vehicles. Others are touched by government agencies here and there, but it’s not the norm. But government agencies touching people through local news is the norm.

Why? Because they can. Those involved in politics often make more news than laws. Sometimes the news is about laws that didn’t work as well as lawmakers expected, all of which makes yet more news. For their part, mainstream news reporters love covering local government because access is easy. No messy bodies to view. No strangers to talk to. Fewer stories to tell.

60 Minutes has remained an American news staple because it tells a story. Every week, different stories on diverse topics of interest are offered for all the world to see and hear.

If local news is defined as stories of interest, and most local news stories are from local government, then we live very sad and quiet lives of desperation.

Of course, that doesn’t fully explain all the news interest in Britney Spears, Anna Nicole Smith, Paris Hilton, or the latest about “Jimeny.”

Last week I had lunch with my friend Cedric at the Poi Bowl in Ala Moana’s Makai Market. Between bites of lau lau, Cedric commented on television commercials about restaurants in Ala Moana Center.

I told him I saw the same commercials but not one on Poi Bowl. “Too ethnic,” was Cedric’s reply. “Da kine way too local for television, you know.”

Cedric was right. Ethnic television commercials are few and far between, mostly limited to sushi restaurants, Chinese restaurants, and a plate lunch place here and there, but not much else. So, I asked Cedric, “what kind of ethnic television commercials would you like to see?”

He grinned that funny little grin, bits of lau lau still stuck between his teeth, and said, “Hey, how about car commercials? They should advertise those small cars as so easy to park, even Korean women could park it without a dent or a scratch.”

I laughed, but said, “Keep your voice down, man. Local folks nearby.” Not many tourists eat lunch near the Poi Bowl.

That’s when Cedric stopped chewing and talking at the same time. His grin grew to a knowing smile, then he cocked his head forward, and raised his voice a bit, “How about advertising a truck with so much power it can carry four Samoans inside?”

I pushed my chair back, as if getting ready to leave– without Cedric. He didn’t stop, “Or, they could advertise a Toyota van with so much cargo space that 12 Filipino women would fit inside on their way to their night jobs as janitors downtown?”

Ala Moana’s Makai Market is a food court, and at lunch that means lots of people sitting near by, including near Cedric and me. I glanced around, sure that others heard what I hoped I hadn’t heard.

“Why not advertise the kine Toyota Prius. It’s the car that saves so much on gasoline that even local Chinese folks in Manoa will buy ‘em?”

I thought to myself, “Cedric, you’re killing me. Or, we’re gonna get killed. So stop it already.” Lau lau has a fragrance that’s truly local and fully acquired. It also affects the brains of those with a warped sense of humor and a full belly.

Before he could continue, I picked up my tray and rubbish, and said, “Yeah, and they could also run commercials about pickup trucks and how much copper wire they can carry late at night and not be seen by drivers or police.”

Cedric laughed. We left. Enough with the ethnic television commercials already.

Unless Hawaii’s state legislature does something really wild and crazy, they’re just 90 days shy of not passing any lame laws for three years.

I was digging around HawaiiReporter this morning looking for worthy reading to add to my stack of worthless topics to write about, and came upon the section entitled Lame Law of the Week. Perfect. Governments, whether local, or state, or federal, or foreign, are always passing lame laws that, only and purely in retrospect, make the lawpassers look stupid.

Unfortunately, the section Lame Law of the Week seems to support Hawaii’s legislators as some kind of class act, capable of doing little wrong. At least, little wrong that gets a measure of scrutiny from the fourth estate. Who’s monitoring the monitors?

In theory, Lame Law of the Week is a good idea, and a great way for media folks to keep an eye on what the elected legislators are doing to protect us from ourselves. I’m not certain that legislators pass a sufficient number of laws to have a lame one every week, but if all their new laws are lame, and they can only muster up one a week, then it all works out.

The problem with anything that’s counted weekly, is coming up with something every week to be counted. Based on the Lame Law of the Week section, Hawaii’s legislators are to be commended, since the last entry for a lame law was in early February, 2005, almost three years ago.

Has the state legislature done no wrong since then? If so, then why are they meeting in special session now to try to fix what they broke back then? Where are the lame laws that we so desperately need to know? If anything, we need a lame law or two just to fill the weekly Lame Law quota.

Hawaii has a Lemon Law for automobiles that are prone to break, or have recurring problems. If it’s a lemon, a buyer should not get stuck with the repair bill.

So what happens when an automobile dealer buys a lemon?

Morrie Stoebner bought a Lamborghini Murcielago for $285,579. It’s a lemon, or so he says. The Lamborghini is not your father’s Honda Accord. The price tag should have been the first clue.

Does a car that costs as much as the average condominium in Hawaii really need an extra $579 tacked on to the $285,000 price tag? Talk about a car dealer gouging a customer.

Stoebner bought the Lamborghini over five years ago and claims that everything that could go wrong has gone wrong with it, and he wants his money back, or part of his money back. The difference will go toward paying for a lesson in life.

Things happen.

I suppose that if I had sufficient millions of dollars lying around from selling less problematic Hondas, I could afford an exotic, high-priced, temperamental, powerful automobile, too. Or, I could afford a trophy wife with similar features. Big tires. Tight seat. Flashy chrome. Built for speed, not comfort.

As the knight guarding the Holy Grail in the movie Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade said, “Choose wisely.” What would the knight say about Stoebner’s purchase?

“He chose poorly.”

Perhaps Hawaii needs to look at a law that will recall lemon drivers.

In theory, I would like to see an affordable, comfortable, convenient ferry service between Hawaii’s islands. In theory, such a ferry is a wonderful idea. I suspect that my thought is in the majority among Hawaii’s citizens.

In reality, I may pass on the opportunity to use Hawaii’s SuperFerry until it becomes a cost effective method to get to Maui, Kauai, or the Big Island, assuming the vessel will even set sail. That is in doubt.

Based on what I’ve seen of SuperFerry’s prices and potential restrictions, fewer Hawaii residents and tourists will use the ferry than were originally projected. Include me on the list of early adopter no-shows.

What happened?

SuperFerry tried to shortcut some of the required processes to launch the service, and convinced enough legislators and the Lingle administration that Hawaii needed a high-speed ferry service. The latter anted up with money and a wink and nod toward restrictive laws. Demonstrations and lawsuits ensued. The courts then ruled that the state needed to conduct an assessment on the environment before SuperFerry could sail.

Government in Hawaii, as is the case elsewhere in the country, has a constitution and laws to prevent a tyranny of the majority. Those same laws often serve as a protection against a similar tyranny of the minority, which appears to be exactly the case with the Hawaii SuperFerry saga.

An important minority, including the Lingle administration, Hawaii’s legislature, and SuperFerry executives, all thought the law requiring an environmental assessment would not stop the ferry, even while an assessment was undertaken.

Another important minority, the courts, ruled otherwise, interpreting the law, which is both their right and obligation, to mean that the environmental assessment needed to be done first. Blame the legislature for part of this mess because they’re the ones who wrote the law in the first place.

Does that mean the whole mess is over and done with? Not quite. The legislature has both the right and obligation to modify state laws if they believe the courts have interpreted their laws incorrectly. In this case, SuperFerry may get another lease on life, at least until the environmental assessment is complete. It’s anyone’s guess as to what will happen then.

Most of the above is business and politics as usual. My cause for concern has to do with tyranny. Laws protect citizens from the so-called tyranny of the majority. Freedom to worship is a good example. So is freedom to speak.

Tyranny of the minority toward the majority has been exercised by a few very small groups loosely known as environmentalists, or activists, working diligently, and thus far, effectively, to prevent SuperFerry from sailing to the neighbor islands.

Most of the arguments against the SuperFerry seem to be environmental in nature. Too many Oahu cars on Kauai or Maui. Invasive species. Whales. On and on it goes. Try applying a little common sense to the arguments and see if you don’t find them wanting.

Cars? More traffic? For the most part, the same number of cars going to any of the neighbor islands will result in a similar number of cars leaving the neighbor islands. The end result is probably a wash. That argument is weak.

Invasive species? Please. Spare me the rhetoric. Ships, cruise ships, military ships, container ships, barges, boats, cars, trucks have been running between the islands for over a century and no one raised much of an eyebrow, and there’s little evidence of inter-island environmental catastrophe anywhere. Another boat or two will matter? Scratch that one from the list.

What’s left? Whales? Are there not laws already in place regarding the requirement to navigate around whales in Hawaiian waters? Sorry, that one doesn’t hold water, either. Move on. Nothing to see here.

How does all that get us to a tyranny of the media (you forgot the headline, right?)? Today’s Honolulu Advertiser carried an online headline which said, “Maui opposes Hawaii SuperFerry bailout.” Oh really?

Yesterday, the Advertiser carried a similar headline, “Kauai opposes Hawaii SuperFerry bailout.” Uh, I’m sorry. I was busy watching all the new fall television shows and I must have missed local news about the referendums on Kauai and Maui. Did neighbor island residents vote to prohibit the state from bailing out the SuperFerry?

No. So how do we know that both Kauai and Maui are opposed to a SuperFerry bailout? Because the Honolulu Advertiser said so. In reality, a few hundred of the vocal minority showed up at a gathering on both islands to voice their opinions about the SuperFerry. Even a few of the less-than-vocal majority showed up, only to be shouted down by the minority, busy exercising their tyrannical rights against the majority’s right to speak.

Meanwhile, our media friends at the Honolulu Advertiser would have us believe that all of Maui, and all of Kauai are dead set against the SuperFerry and especially against any state-sponsored bailout. The online newspaper’s headline probably should have read this way, “Small group of Kauai (or Maui) residents protest SuperFerry bailout.” That just doesn’t sound as exciting, does it?

What we read in the newspapers and see on local television news is only a small reflection of what actually is happening in Hawaii. Even then, the reflection we see is not always accurate. Short of an island-by-island referendum to settle the SuperFerry’s fate in Hawaii, this whole mess has become disgusting and embarrassing and more than a little frightening.

Far too many Hawaii residents are exercising their right to ignore it all.

Not long ago I visited “the wall” at the end of Kapahulu in Waikiki. I learned to body surf and boogie board in the waves off that wall.

Once I saw a local boy catch a hefty wave which crashed on the face of the wall sending him up and over the top of the wall– standing. That’s right. Instead of falling onto the top of the wall, he stood up. It was cool. I tried repeating what my 80-pound companion managed to do on the next hefty wave, but 200 pounds of lau-lau and sushi laden brawn doesn’t fight gravity quite the same way.

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