Last week I had lunch with my friend Cedric at the Poi Bowl in Ala Moana’s Makai Market. Between bites of lau lau, Cedric commented on television commercials about restaurants in Ala Moana Center.
I told him I saw the same commercials but not one on Poi Bowl. “Too ethnic,” was Cedric’s reply. “Da kine way too local for television, you know.”
Cedric was right. Ethnic television commercials are few and far between, mostly limited to sushi restaurants, Chinese restaurants, and a plate lunch place here and there, but not much else. So, I asked Cedric, “what kind of ethnic television commercials would you like to see?”
He grinned that funny little grin, bits of lau lau still stuck between his teeth, and said, “Hey, how about car commercials? They should advertise those small cars as so easy to park, even Korean women could park it without a dent or a scratch.”
I laughed, but said, “Keep your voice down, man. Local folks nearby.” Not many tourists eat lunch near the Poi Bowl.
That’s when Cedric stopped chewing and talking at the same time. His grin grew to a knowing smile, then he cocked his head forward, and raised his voice a bit, “How about advertising a truck with so much power it can carry four Samoans inside?”
I pushed my chair back, as if getting ready to leave– without Cedric. He didn’t stop, “Or, they could advertise a Toyota van with so much cargo space that 12 Filipino women would fit inside on their way to their night jobs as janitors downtown?”
Ala Moana’s Makai Market is a food court, and at lunch that means lots of people sitting near by, including near Cedric and me. I glanced around, sure that others heard what I hoped I hadn’t heard.
“Why not advertise the kine Toyota Prius. It’s the car that saves so much on gasoline that even local Chinese folks in Manoa will buy ‘em?”
I thought to myself, “Cedric, you’re killing me. Or, we’re gonna get killed. So stop it already.” Lau lau has a fragrance that’s truly local and fully acquired. It also affects the brains of those with a warped sense of humor and a full belly.
Before he could continue, I picked up my tray and rubbish, and said, “Yeah, and they could also run commercials about pickup trucks and how much copper wire they can carry late at night and not be seen by drivers or police.”
Cedric laughed. We left. Enough with the ethnic television commercials already.
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