Vital statistics

I read obituaries. My thought is simple. If I don’t see my name in the obituaries, it’ll be a good day. Fortunately, there are only half a dozen people in the country with the same name.

Years ago, when I worked for a small town radio station, we read “vital statistics” following the morning and afternoon’s comprehensive news. Vital statistics were nothing more than a list of which baby was born in which nearby hospital and to whom, and the names of all those who died in the county.

Vital statistics in the Honolulu Star-Bulletin usually consists of a simple list of obituaries, marriage licenses, and birth certificates.

In any given week, there are 10 times as many marriages as births, yet fewer deaths than marriages. A couple can give birth more than once, but seldom more than one birth at a time. That same couple can get married more than once. But they’ll only die one time.

The life expectancy of Hawaii residents is higher than most mainland states, so obituaries often list people in their 80s, and 90s. It’s unusual to read of a teenager’s death in the obituaries.

Most obituaries in the newspaper list the deceased, date of death, seldom the cause, where they lived, and the names of their nearest relatives. The Star-Bulletin has paid obituaries which include the basic information and a guest book in the online edition which lets mourners leave a comment of condolence.

I have yet to read of someone leaving a comment such as, “good riddance” or, “I’m glad to see him gone.” People may think it, but they don’t usually leave the message where others can read what they thought of the deceased.

Another vital statistic we could add to online obituaries is a simple poll; vote for approval or disapproval of the deceased.  That would be a good way to find out who was loved and missed, and who was hated and dissed.