Paying attention to politics

Who says voters don’t pay attention? Straight out of David Letterman’s nightly Top 10 List comes the Top 10 Bans Considered by the Hawaii Legislature in 2008.

Not only are elected officials considering a ban on aspartame, HawaiiReporter compiled a list of other items to be banned. Additional perspective provided to ease the pain in your sense of humor.

#10 – Bad Feelings: It’s hard not to like this one. Bad feelings impact a person’s self esteem. No lawmaker wants to hear or read about things that are bad.

#9 – Cotton: Hawaii’s lawmakers are so left leaning that taking anything from a plant and using it for personal gratification is immoral. The State will hire civil servants to ensure that cotton imported into Hawaii fell of the plant naturally and wasn’t picked prematurely.

#8 – Jokes: No more political cartoons poking fun at locals. Corky Trinidad will have to move to Burbank.

#7 – Polyester: This proposed ban won’t make it. What would Hawaii’s legislators wear?

#6 – Bad Mustaches: No more wispy, Fu Manchu mustaches, men or women. The only ones who wear them are criminals, so crime will be reduced with the Bad Mustache ban.

#5 – Red: Any food item with the color red would be banned. No more char siu. It causes violent behavior.

#4 -  Ice Cream: Anything sweet is bad for you. No more azuki beans, mololo syrup, or shave ice, either.

#3 – Common Sense: I thought this was banned already. No one in the government uses it anymore. Common sense can only be found among the young. At least, those without vaccinations.

#2 – Bad Vibes: See #10. Not the same. Not even funny. Unless you’re toking, in which case it might be.

#1 – Dicks: Symptomatic of male oppression, female domination, so it’s no wonder that State lawmakers banned the use of such contraptions years ago.

Who says local folks don’t pay attention to what goes on in politics?