The trouble with eggs in Hawaii

Hawaii has an egg problem. No, it isn’t with mainland eggs, or the price of eggs, or anything to do with the nutritional aspect of eggs. Eggs make great easy throwing and difficult messes to clean up.

Too many teenagers in Hawaii, the kind old enough to drive, because they need a fast getaway, love to throw eggs. These same teenagers tend to find something alcoholic to drink just before they drive and throw eggs at houses in ritzy neighborhoods far from home.

Eggs are great to throw, and just as it is with hand grenades, the thrower merely needs to get close to the intended target, whether it be a house, a car, or a person in the wrong place at the right time. The egg needs to hit anywhere but in the yard or on the streets.

Eggs also cause a huge mess which is difficult to clean up. When eggs dry, they become hard like plastic. In between egg and plastic are various stages of goo, each capable of causing a permanent mess.

It isn’t that Hawaii’s egg-throwing teens are doing something illegal like drinking and driving. That’s been going on since there were drinks and things to drive and is not likely to change. They’re throwing eggs and eggs are expensive and messy.

Whatever happened to water-filled balloons? Water balloons. They’re less expensive than eggs, cause less damage, there’s almost no residue or after effects, and the only negative is that, like eggs, they sometimes break before they get thrown. Oh, and water balloons take a little more effort to handle just before the throw.

Would a drunken rich guy hop in his expensive car and chase a bunch of drunken teenagers up a telephone poll if they had thrown water balloons instead of eggs?

Whatever happened to punishment that fits the crime? Kids who are caught tagging homes and buildings with spray paint should have the same done to their homes. KIds who are caught throwing eggs should have to stand on a firing line with their parents so the victims can throw eggs at them.

It’s only fair. And it would be much more fun to watch the execution of justice on the news than watch news reports of some drunken rich guy get arrested for chasing drunken teenagers.