Mom and dad are criminals

Hawaii lawmakers are working on a bill to curb domestic violence. That’s a good thing, right? Not so fast. How do we define domestic violence?

My mother and fathers spanked me. Sometimes it was deserved, sometimes not so much. Would mom and dad be criminals in Hawaii?

House Bill 3379 covers domestic violence, and creates a new crime (if that’s really possible; we have so many). This one is called third degree family abuse, a petty misdemeanor. Spanking your child could get you arrested.

Could your mother or father be arrested? The proposed bill states, “‘Physical abuse’ means striking, shoving, or kicking a person in an offensive manner, or subjecting a person to offensive physical contact with the intent to harass, annoy, or alarm.”

I don’t recall my parents ever kicking me, but there were more than a few instances of offensive physical contact with intent to harass and annoy. Apparently I managed to overcome those childhood tragedies and become a somewhat normal citizen despite the scars of abuse from my fair share of lickings.

If the bill passes and becomes law, I wonder if  a statue of limitations will apply? Otherwise, my parents could get arrested at the airport the next time the fly to Hawaii.

I promise to visit them in jail.