Entries Tagged 'Fiction' ↓

With all the noise over Kau Inoa and the echo from the racial satire of Cow Inoa, I wonder what the first settlers to Hawaii would think of what has happened to the people who reside in these beautiful islands, regardless of their origin.

Would they be impressed with what many have come to describe as the Aloha Spirit of Hawaii? Would they notice first the racial divides or the racial harmony among the people? Would they be pleased with the spirit of giving and love and trust that exists among Hawaii’s diverse people, or be saddened by the callous selfishness exhibited within all races?

Regardless of background or heritage or culture, our modern lives are full of unceasing change and unrelenting demands. In the face of inescapable pressures and seeming injustice from all around, the invitation and promise of Kau Inoa is understandable. Who among us does not long for a simpler, more pleasant way of life, a way to relieve our burdens, and the ability to control more of our lives?

It could be said that people have an inherent right to stand up, proclaim liberty, to seek a better life for themselves and their children. History tells us that when a people stand up, they often push other people down. History also tells us when that happens, both suffer. The past, however unjust or illegal, cannot be undone. History cannot be repaired. All that can be done is to learn from history, or repeat history.

Racial divisions and oppressions can be considered the cause of movements such as Kau Inoa, and the cause of responses such as Cow Inoa. Has either view really learned from history? Or, are they simply repeating history?

As of today, global warming and weather pattern disruptions notwithstanding, I have effectively defied a few laws of nature.

One week ago I washed my car. It needed the cleaning. The past month was nothing but steady, daily rain, which wreaks havoc on my car washing schedule.

Alright, it’s not much of a schedule. I can tell my car needs a wash when I park it on the street and passersby walk to the other side of the street to avoid it. That’s dirty.

When I wash my car, by hand or car wash, two things happen. The first is that it begins to rain just as I finish drying the car. The second is that it will, without fail, rain on my car sometime within the first 24 hours after the wash.

Should I leave my car in the parking stall in our condominium, the rain will delay until the first 24 hours after driving the car on public streets or highways. I know there’s a name for that law of nature but it escapes me at the moment?

Why? Because global warming is impacting our weather. Why? How? I don’t know why, but everyone says so, therefore it must be true. How? Easy. It’s been seven days and my car hasn’t been rained on. Yet.

If that’s not defying a law or two of nature, I don’t know what is.

You would think that Hawaii, alone in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, thousands of miles from the industrial pollution and factory wastes of Asia, South America, North America, would be immune to the effects of acid rain.

Acid rain is an insidious and dangerous result of human emissions of sulfur and nitrogen compounds which react in the earth’s atmosphere to produce acids.

Until now, the effects of acid rain in Hawaii have been disguised by a few decades of lessening rainfall in the islands. Recently, with more rain crossing the islands in winter storms, the effects of acid rain can be viewed and felt throughout the state.

Acid rain causes potholes in roads.

What other explanation can there be for the huge potholes which developed over the past week, following two weeks of wind and rain?

Industrial acid rain was first discovered back in the 1850s, but did not become a noteworthy phenomenon until over a century later. Modern media has reported acid rain damage in Europe, Asia, and the United States, and now in Hawaii.

In most locales, acid rain damages building materials and historical monuments, as the acid in the rain chemically reacts with the calcium compounds in stones. Most buildings in Hawaii are immune to the effects of acid rain because of a thick coating of pigeon excrement.

However, Hawaii’s streets are highways are not immune to acid rain. Water from the heavens may be good for replenishing Hawaii’s water tables, and maintaining the brown discoloration of the Ala Wai Canal, but the acid from an abundance of rain wreaks havoc on asphalt and concrete, the two prime ingredients in Hawaii’s roads.

Make no mistake about it, acid rain created the potholes that damage the cars which send pollution into the skies which form chemicals which rain down upon all continents– and Hawaii.

This fact is difficult to deny. Mother Nature hates tourists in Hawaii and shows her disdain for their desire to frolic along Hawaii’s beaches with increasing creativity.

Maybe the fury released in recent storms and jellyfish infestations is retribution for past sins against nature by tourists from wherever. Whatever it is, it’s obvious that Mother Nature isn’t happy, and that makes tourists unhappy when they travel to Hawaii and spend hundreds of dollars a day only to be spit upon by local Nature.

Sure, even really crummy winter weather in Hawaii is better than any kind of weather in Traverse City, Michigan, but the scourge of box jellyfish sent to beaches inhabited mostly by tourists seems especially vicious.

It’s also true that Oahu’s south shore receives a monthly supply of jellyfish which always seem to arrive on a schedule, stinging tourists and locals alike; though tourists feel the pain more. They’re supposed to. It’s what Mother Nature wants.

Large waves to Oahu’s shores attract surfers from all over the world. Large waves that can be ridden only by professionals seem to entice more visitors to the beaches. Then Mother Nature really lashes out.

First, a scorching sun that burns through the most dense SPF lotions, then with vicious wind and rain which soaks clothing, skin, and spirit. Finally, waves so large they cannot be ridden wash ashore, knocking down tourists onto the beach and dragging them back into the churning deep.

If that’s not revenge, I don’t know what is.

The question to consider is, “Why?” What did some poor tourist schmuck from Traverse City, Michigan ever do to Mother Nature to deserve to get thrashed about on the beaches of paradise? Have you ever been to Traverse City?

It’s the permanent residence of gloomy living. Mother Nature, wherever she is, doesn’t forget who leaves and why.

Last week I had lunch with my friend Cedric at the Poi Bowl in Ala Moana’s Makai Market. Between bites of lau lau, Cedric commented on television commercials about restaurants in Ala Moana Center.

I told him I saw the same commercials but not one on Poi Bowl. “Too ethnic,” was Cedric’s reply. “Da kine way too local for television, you know.”

Cedric was right. Ethnic television commercials are few and far between, mostly limited to sushi restaurants, Chinese restaurants, and a plate lunch place here and there, but not much else. So, I asked Cedric, “what kind of ethnic television commercials would you like to see?”

He grinned that funny little grin, bits of lau lau still stuck between his teeth, and said, “Hey, how about car commercials? They should advertise those small cars as so easy to park, even Korean women could park it without a dent or a scratch.”

I laughed, but said, “Keep your voice down, man. Local folks nearby.” Not many tourists eat lunch near the Poi Bowl.

That’s when Cedric stopped chewing and talking at the same time. His grin grew to a knowing smile, then he cocked his head forward, and raised his voice a bit, “How about advertising a truck with so much power it can carry four Samoans inside?”

I pushed my chair back, as if getting ready to leave– without Cedric. He didn’t stop, “Or, they could advertise a Toyota van with so much cargo space that 12 Filipino women would fit inside on their way to their night jobs as janitors downtown?”

Ala Moana’s Makai Market is a food court, and at lunch that means lots of people sitting near by, including near Cedric and me. I glanced around, sure that others heard what I hoped I hadn’t heard.

“Why not advertise the kine Toyota Prius. It’s the car that saves so much on gasoline that even local Chinese folks in Manoa will buy ‘em?”

I thought to myself, “Cedric, you’re killing me. Or, we’re gonna get killed. So stop it already.” Lau lau has a fragrance that’s truly local and fully acquired. It also affects the brains of those with a warped sense of humor and a full belly.

Before he could continue, I picked up my tray and rubbish, and said, “Yeah, and they could also run commercials about pickup trucks and how much copper wire they can carry late at night and not be seen by drivers or police.”

Cedric laughed. We left. Enough with the ethnic television commercials already.

Unless Hawaii’s state legislature does something really wild and crazy, they’re just 90 days shy of not passing any lame laws for three years.

I was digging around HawaiiReporter this morning looking for worthy reading to add to my stack of worthless topics to write about, and came upon the section entitled Lame Law of the Week. Perfect. Governments, whether local, or state, or federal, or foreign, are always passing lame laws that, only and purely in retrospect, make the lawpassers look stupid.

Unfortunately, the section Lame Law of the Week seems to support Hawaii’s legislators as some kind of class act, capable of doing little wrong. At least, little wrong that gets a measure of scrutiny from the fourth estate. Who’s monitoring the monitors?

In theory, Lame Law of the Week is a good idea, and a great way for media folks to keep an eye on what the elected legislators are doing to protect us from ourselves. I’m not certain that legislators pass a sufficient number of laws to have a lame one every week, but if all their new laws are lame, and they can only muster up one a week, then it all works out.

The problem with anything that’s counted weekly, is coming up with something every week to be counted. Based on the Lame Law of the Week section, Hawaii’s legislators are to be commended, since the last entry for a lame law was in early February, 2005, almost three years ago.

Has the state legislature done no wrong since then? If so, then why are they meeting in special session now to try to fix what they broke back then? Where are the lame laws that we so desperately need to know? If anything, we need a lame law or two just to fill the weekly Lame Law quota.

The largest single parking lot in Hawaii is operated by the State’s Department of Transportation. We call it the highway.

Every day, more people seem to be found parking on H-1, H-2, and sometimes H-3 than anywhere else in the state. King Street, Beretania Street, and Kapiolani Boulevard all rank in the Top 10 Parking Lots of Hawaii.

Believe it or not, parking in Hawaii’s state run lots is free but comes with limitations. You can’t leave your vehicle unattended. You may feel like it, but you can’t. Otherwise, even more cars will begin parking– right behind yours.

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Crime in Hawaii is on the rise, right? In reality, some crimes are up, some are down, some are about the same.

Seasons change and crime is cyclical in nature. What is sure is that more criminals are behind bars than ever before.

Hawaii’s incarceration rate is soaring, up 400-percent since 1980. Hawaii’s prisoners behind bars totaled 65 per 100,000 population in 1980, climbing to 345 per 100,000 in 2006.

What has happened?

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Common thinking says that gasoline prices in Hawaii are outrageous. I don’t think so.

Relative to gasoline prices in Hawaii back in 1981, today’s prices, adjusted for inflation and average household income, are still lower than 25 years ago.

What is outrageous is the price of water, coffee, Kool-Aid, milk, wine, beer, Windex, and shoyu. Don’t get me started about the price per gallon of Starbuck’s or Jamba Juice. You don’t want to know.

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HawaiiBlogger has learned of secret plans by Honolulu’s City Council to sell Ala Moana Beach Park to General Growth Properties.

Council members have concluded negotiations with the owner of Ala Moana Center and Ward Centers to hand over the park to GGP once all homeless and vagrant residents in the park have been removed.

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